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The idea of other people reading what I write terrifies me. At least, I think it does. I'm not really making any sense. It's difficult to explain. I want people to read my writing, but at the same time, it's hard for me to be as candid as I'd like because I'm afraid of what people might think about the things I write. I've blogged and ranted about this so many times; the hesitation I feel when writing, my tendency to censor myself and all that jazz. But I don't know why it matters so much. Why should it matter what people think of me? Even right now, I feel a little uncertain about my words. It drives me crazy. It's like my fingers are stuck on this switch to censor myself when I am writing. I'm not really sure how to turn it off. I find that a lot of times, I am writing for others, and not for myself.

It makes me a bit sad, and a little disappointed in myself for losing that spark or whatever I used to have when it came to writing and expressing how I felt. Is this what happens when you grow up and get older? Or is this just how I've changed under the various life situations I've faced over the years?