Rain check!

For once it is raining in Rochester instead of snowing. That's good sign, right? That spring is upon us? Um, wrong. Despite the fact that tomorrow is the first day of spring, the rain is supposed to turn into snow later on tonight. Oy, why won't the snow go away? It was so nice to be back at home for the few days I stayed; the weather was warm (Ok, high 40s isn't exactly "warm", but it felt really warm to me after 20 degree weather in Rochester) and the sun was shining. Not to mention, there wasn't any snow to be seen. Oh, I can't wait for the day when there isn't any more snow in Rochester -____-''

I'm totally skipping class right now. What can I say? I'm actually not that great of a student. I'm actually not really worried about my history classes because I'm doing fine in both of them. I'm actually a bit behind in Chinese and my last two tests haven't been superb. My teacher has become really picky this semester about proper sentence formations and she wants us to follow the textbook exactly. Even though what I write out is technically correct (in the colloquial sense), but because it's not textbook, she takes off points. And let me tell you, those little points freakin' add up. Blargh.

In other news, I think about how I might come off to other people too much. Who cares what other people think or even might think about me? People shouldn't obsess over things like that. I certainly don't have the time to do that (since I have so much Chinese work to catch up on). But sometimes, I still can't help but catch myself thinking about how other people view me and what they might think when they see me. I even think about what perfect strangers might think of me when they pass me by. I know, I know. Why does that even matter?! It doesn't, but the thought still crosses my mind occasionally. And then it affects me and my day. I'll wake up one morning and think to myself, "Oh, okay. Today I'm going to be a better student, more diligent. I'll be nicer, quieter and act more reserved, yet friendly at the same time. And blah blah blah blah blah." What a bunch of crap.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a fake. And I really hope I'm not.
Yet as I type these words, the thought flickers across my mind, "I wonder what people will think when (or if) they read this."
Sad, isn't it?

Twenty

Oh snap! I'm 20 years old today. I can't believe that my teenage years have already passed me by. I still remember when I first turned 13 and I got so excited because I thought being a teenager was going to be so cool. Hah! And in a blink of an eye, I'm 20. WTF! When did I grow up? I don't feel any different, but then again, when does it ever "feel" different?

I got a card from Kathy and flowers from Caleb yesterday. And I had a surprise birthday dinner last night with Dan, Cindy, Oronde, Alvin and Min. I must say, Dan got me good. I had NO idea that the rest of them were going to be there. I even saw Alvin when we were walking in, but I didn't really think anything of it, haha. I just thought, "Oh, it's Alvin. Okay." Hahaa, and then Cindy scared the crap outta me by jumping out and yelling, "SURPRISE!!!!!" It was a nice night though. Cindy gave me "How to Become a Domestic[ated] Goddess"; she made her own adjustment to the book and added the "ated".

We ate so much free bread and drew on the table. The best part was when our waiter gave me a huge piece of chocolate cake, and this other Asian waiter sang "Happy Birthday" to me in ITALIAN. It was kind of awkward, but really funny at the same time. So that's what it's like being serenaded by a stranger, haha.

And then Dan gave me the biggest surprise of all when we got back to his apartment. A white Nintendo DS Lite along with Mario Kart!!! Heheee, I'm so thankful to have such wonderful friends! It made spending my birthday in Rochester a lot more enjoyable ^_^

I still can't believe I'm 20.

This is me not doing work...

I should probably be writing my history paper (which is due tomorrow) right now, but my mind keeps wandering. I seriously have A.D.D; I'm pretty convinced. The only things I have done for the past two hours are watch dance clips on youtube, download songs and facebook. It's really terrible. I have the attention span of a goldfish. I've only worked on my paper for a total of like 25 minutes. Maybe even less. Mmm, I am a failure. What is my deal with pushing work to the last minute? I think it's the pressure that intrigues me. I tend to work really well when I am pressed for time. I really need to break this habit of mine. It is not going to work out for me in the future.

I like studying alone because I get less distracted, but at the same time, I can't leave to get food or anything because I hate leaving my stuff alone. I'm pretty paranoid. It comes with living in the city. Everyone is suspect.

Stupid paper about Asian people. I don't know what to write. Mm, no. That's a lie. I do know what to write about, it's the problem of articulating my thoughts that's slowing me down. I should just show up to class and be like, "I don't have my paper because I AM the Asian-American experience." Haha, oy.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.