The sky is crying..

I'm so ready to leave for Rochester right now.

I know, I know. I ranted and raved about how I couldn't wait to come back home and be away from school in my previous entries, but things change. Things change in a blink of an eye. It's mostly because of my mom. I love her, but she drives me insane too. Just once in my life, I wish she would look at me and say, "I love you exactly the way you are and I don't want you to change a thing. Do what you love and don't let anyone ever bring you down." ONCE, just once. Is it so much to ask for? I'm so sick and tired of listening to my mom's crap about how I need to change the way I look and just everything. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I can't even enjoy the simple pleasures of life anymore, like going out to eat with friends and catching up.

The weather is reflecting how I'm feeling right now. Down, depressed, and full of tears.

Stuffed

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone is full of warm and yummy food ^_^

14 hours until the end

To the end of what? To the end of... school. At least until Monday. I am really looking forward to this break. I cannot wait to see my family again, and to catch up with old friends. And I'm excited to see Dan and spend time with him and his family. Though it is going to be brief, it will be a nice change of pace from school. Can you believe it? After this Thanksgiving break, it'll be about 2, 2 1/2 more weeks and then it's off to winter break! Half of junior year is going to be over. It is actually kind of eerie when I think about it. Once my last final is over for the fall semester, I will only have 3 more semesters of college left. Then what? What is to become of me??? I'm actually quite scared to think about that reality. It's mind-boggling. I can't image myself in the "real world". All I've ever known is school. Pre-school, elementary, junior high, high school, and college. Well, I suppose there is always graduate school... Aiyoo.

Some random pictures I took with my new camera:
1. My desk lamp.
2. My desk, and my emergency chocolate, hehee.
3. The new kid on the block. Or rather, the new mug in the cupboard.
4. Playing with color accents.

Oh, and that paper? It still hasn't really gone anywhere. I have a little bit, but not as much as I would have liked. Oh well. It'll get done eventually. I've always worked better under pressure. I can always try to be better next semester, right?

Aigoo, I am hopeless.

Memories of a past life.

Remember those days when we used to write on xanga? Remember how we thought getting an "x" amount of eprops and comments dictated how cool we all were? Well, I just took a stroll down memory lane (my sad attempt to avoid my term paper. I made a small dent in it yesterday, only to discover today that I had to start from scratch. AGGHHH), and man, I was a consistent little blogger back in the day. I switched xangas so many times, but I always kept up with posts. I always had something to say, whether or not my posts were public or private. Reading through them, I could not help but laugh at how immature and silly I used to be. But then again, I don't know if I've changed all that much since those xanga days. I still may be somewhat immature and silly, but I've left my junior high and high school days behind with a hint of bitterness on the edges. It hasn't been that long since high school, but it feels like it's been awhile. I've learned a lot about myself in that time, and I'm glad I wrote down all those things I learned. Looking back on it now I think I've changed somewhat too. I'm not the bright-eyed, hopeful Christy I used to be. The me right now is slightly weathered, beaten down, discouraged and realistic. But there's still a hint of idealism that still twinkles in the my eyes. I think. I hope.

Anyway, here is what I pulled off one of my old posts. HAH. Brings back memories. Remember when we used to fill these out? Here's my updated 2008 version.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Christy/Chris
2. Collision
3. Crusty/Crispy

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes
2. Sense of humor
3. My love for food

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I am easily swayed and influenced by others.
2. I care too much about what other people think.
3. I have a tendency to overanalyze.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Chinese
2. Asian
3. American

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing loved ones
2. Insects. Ugh.
3. The grudge girl

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Sweatshirt
2. Jeans
3. Black chucks

THREE THINGS ON YOUR DESK:
1. Coffee
2. Books on early modern Japanese literature (Hi, this is called procrastination)
3. My bookbag

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SINGERS/BANDS:
Uhhh, I don't know.
1. Marie Digby
2. Lenka
3. Shivia Lee

THREE THINGS YOU DO EVERYDAY:
1. Eat.
2. SLEEP.
3. Facebook.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES:
1. A Walk to Remember
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Elizabethtown

THREE THINGS YOU LOVE:
1. Salt&Vinegar chips
2. Stacy's cinnamon sugar pita chips
3. My new camera, and in extension, my wonderful boyfriend.

THREE PEOPLE/THINGS YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW:
1. Dan
2. Steph
3. Mommy & Daddy

Huh, well I think that took up a significant chunk of my time. Back to term paper-ing I go.

I still can't believe I had to start from scratch. HOW FRUSTRATING.

Procrastination at its best

Taking a very brief break from studying to post some pictures of food :)

Filipino dish that Camille made. I forget what it's called, but it was yummy.
Perfect over rice.
I baked more chocolate chip cookies ^o^

My first time making my mom's Chinese version of Borscht. This is my favorite wintertime soup ever. Reminds me of home.

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand

I really enjoy listening to country music. The voices are beautiful and the lyrics are profound. And like Dan has said, I like the way it tells a story. It is so much more heartfelt than all the mainstream music we listen to nowadays.

[Cue long, discouraged, somewhat pathetic sigh]
I am so tired of school. I really am. I just want to go home, and stay there. Isn't there a remote control for this sort of thing? Can't I fast forward to the interesting parts of my life? HAH, I wish. That only works when I'm watching the story of somebody else's life. Not my life. No sirree bob. Thanksgiving break is about a week away, but it feels like it is going to take a lifetime to get there. And why do I feel this way? Oh, that's easy. It's called a freaking ten page term paper. Yeah. That's right. TERM PAPER. Maybe I'm being a little overdramatic. But hello! I am past the point of rational thinking. This beautiful term paper is for one of the classes that yours truly is behind in. Actually, I'm behind in all my classes... This semester hasn't been a very good one for me, academically speaking. I've lost the drive, the motivation to throw myself at school. I AM TIRED.

But yeah, back to the whole term paper thingamajig. It's due the Wednesday (December 3. Holy moly, December already???) after Thanksgiving break. And we all know that I am NOT going to get ANYTHING done when I am at home. I barely have enough time to hang out with old friends and new friends. SO, that means I have to do all my research and AT LEAST get half of the paper done by the time I leave (Leaving for the airport at 11am on Wednesday!!! I cannot WAIT!). It really doesn't seem like much, but to me, the overachieving slacker, it is a mountain. It is Mt. Everest. Oh dear. I'm worried. But I'll get through it, right? I always somehow manage.

Oh, who am I kidding?!

I need someone to come and give me a good, long, hard shake. Shake me until I wake up, because I think my brain is asleep. I think it's been asleep this entire time. Huh, that would explain a lot.

Wake up, brain! WAKE UP.

Rochester winter wonderland

This is the image I was greeted with when I pulled open my shades this morning. I apologize about the cloudy, grimy sheen over the picture. That would be my dirty window. Below is a better picture of the snow. But yeah, look at that snow! I didn't get a chance to take a close up picture of the snow, but the snow on the ground is not the solid blanket that we are oh so used to. Instead, the snow is all clumped; it looks like someone sprinkled dippin' dots ice cream all over the ground. Apparently, it hailed for awhile this morning too. And it was snowing pretty heavily during the afternoon. I had to walk through the winter wonderland on my way to work. At one point, the sun came out, but the snow was still pelting me in the face. Ahhh, Rochester winter is setting in; no more sun until April or so. Depressing.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle...

Yes, yes, yes. We all know that I am a very fickle person. You know it, I know it, the entire world knows it. But, I just can't seem to make up my friggin' mind. Where to blog? Where, oh where? Is it really that serious? I don't even know why it bothers me. But yeah, whoop-di-doo, I am back on blogspot. It's annoying switching back and forth from my public blog on wordpress to my private blog on blogspot (don't bother trying to find it, it is restricted/protected). And after sitting here in front of my Macbook, I figured I might as well make my blogging life easier (and I figured I'd cave into peer pressure since blogspot seems to be pretty popular these days. I don't always have to go against the grain. Besides, I've known about blogger since high school! I was cool before all y'all even realized how cool this was. I don't even know why that matters at all. Gosh, can I be anymore awkward -___-'') by consolidating everything onto one main blog site.

Aaaaaaaaand, I really didn't like the fact that wordpress would not let me change the colors of my blog. I had to pay extra if I wanted to see different colors. WTHECK! Why should I pay for a color change??? Totally bogus. Anyway, I tried to import the posts I've written from the past month or so on wordpress onto here, but it seems that I can't do it, so WHATEVER. I don't really care at this point. But for serious yo, I am [going to try my best to] NOT switch back and forth and change and be all indecisive and annoying. Because honestly, my back is killing me right now, and it's because I've been sitting here, deciding what to do. I could have been in bed already. I could be sleeping right now. Man. I suck.

But yeah. Blogspot, let's not fight anymore. I've missed you so! (Why. Am. I. So. Weird?) I can't wait to change colors of this layout until my little heart is content.

So if we can, let's try to ignore that obnoxious post below. Let's start anew. Let's be friends, okay? =)