All we can do is keep breathing

I shouldn't try so hard. These things should be more natural. It's kind of ridiculous that I recite silly little instructions to myself about how I should do that or this. My mother is always telling me what to do, what I should do, how I should act, and look. All of her words are beating me down. I can't think clearly. I'm tired of listening to her. I hear her words, but my mind is too full to take anything in. I'm tired. I don't even have the strength to tell her that I can't take this verbal abuse anymore. I need some room to fly. I need some space to do things my own way.

I miss Rochester. I miss my independence.

How does she expect me to be independent when she makes me so reliant on her?

I need to clear my head. All I can do is keep breathing.
This will all be over soon.