我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開，愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害？

"it's interesting to hear about all the things going around me. it's strange because i see certain people at least every week, yet i know so little of what is going on in their daily lives. we encounter so many people with each passing day, yet we never know what is going on inside of their hearts and minds when we talk to them. they hide their feelings because they are afraid of what other people will say or how they will react. it's a crying shame that people are so fearful of being true to themselves because they worry about what others will think. but to be frank, we can all say we don't care about what others say, but deep down, we actually do care. you know it, i know it. we all feel that way. we say things, but we don't necessarily do them or abide by them. we tell ourselves that we don't care about the opinions of others because we want to seem independent, unique, strong, brave, admirable. but if you really think about it, that is how everyone feels. we all want to feel individual in some way or another, and in our haste to all be original, we all become the same because we're attempting to take the same approach. ironic, isn't it? it's funny how life works."

I spent a good chunk of my studying time yesterday logging into old xangas and reading my old entries. I found this one and thought it was [probably] worth re-posting. I've been in a very reflective mood these past few days, thinking about where I used to be, who I used to be, where I am now, who I am now. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, and what I want to get out of it. Of course, the obvious answer is "to get the most out of life." But that is a pretty broad gamut of possibilities.


The first thing on my agenda is to find an internship for the summer. I definitely do what I did last summer; sitting around with absolutely nothing to do all summer. It was ridiculously boring and I felt like such a waste of life minus the swimming in the morning. Need to be more productive. MUST be more productive.

I need to take more pictures of everyone and everything around me. I used to take pictures all the time and now I'm lucky if I remember to take out my camera to snap a few good moments. AND, I seriously need to go to the gym. I am looking and feeling pretty gross. Looking at all the pretty, skinny people around me who complain about being "fat" depresses the heck out of me. If they're considered "fat" then I am like, overly obese. Ugh. Now I just feel crummy.

It's going to be 57 degrees in Rochester tomorrow...