Old habits die hard when you've got a sentimental heart

Why is it that we are dissatisfied with ourselves? There is always something that could be different, that could be better. I look at myself and I think, "I wish I could be smarter, better at managing my time, skinnier, more talented, more outgoing, etc." It's an endless list, I think. Even if I somehow achieved all these things, there will probably be something that I'm unhappy with later on. It's a constant cycle. I look at other people around me, and I think, "They seem like they have it so together; they seem like they are happy with everything they have." But in actuality, they're not. They are just like me, dissatisfied with some part of their life. The key word is seems. Everything is not what it seems to be. It never is. It looks all pretty and dandy on the surface, but it's always so much more complicated than we can ever imagine.

That's just life, I guess.


I've been reading a lot of my old blog posts lately. Certain circumstances have brought me to open up old wounds and share my experiences with a friend. Looking back on it, I used to write a lot, and a lot of what I wrote about had to do with heartbreak and heartache. A big chunk of my high school years went to crying/pining/whining/being depressed over a boy. Thinking back on it now, I feel pretty silly admitting to that. But I think the experience was necessary in order for me to become the person I am right now. There are things I'd like to change, but without that seemingly devestating heartbreak, I'd still be overly sentimental and overly optimistic about love. I don't mean that I'm cynical about love, but I would like to say that I am less likely to fall to pieces over love like I did in high school.

Love is never as easy as we would like it to be.